Jealousy
by PinkShadowedWallflowers
Summary: An alternative story line that occurs between the end of Frostbite and the end of Shadow Kiss. Some of the text passages and events are the same as in the books. But with different outcomes.
1. Chapter 1

Mornings are the worst time. I wake up and pull myself out of bed, get myself dressed and ready before I remember that he's not here. I guess that's why it was so much worse to be given extra hours to think about it. The slush on sidewalk soaked into the cloth of my slippers, but I didn't care. It hurt a lot to think about what had happened a few weeks before. It felt like losing a part of myself. But at least now I know he is happy, and made the right choice for him.

"Rose!" _Oh Crap! _"Just, what are you doing out of bed at this time?"

I turned to see my current trainer and therefore, most recent pain-in-the-you-don't-want-me-to-finish, walking towards me.

"Yo...um...Yuri."

"You haven't answered my question."

"I was -um- testing security. It sucks." At this point, Dimitri would have smiled, well not a full one but still. He would have let it slide and however he would have responded it would have been more positive than Yuri's reaction.

"Rose, this is not acceptable. Follow me." He started going on about how I should appreciate the protection the academy offers me and how I'm already behind as it is (I need to rest in order to do well) and things like this are what get me a bad reputation and I should just look at Vasilisa and how respectable and well behaved she is (yeah, right) and how i need to stop – oh greetings Guardian Petrov.

I looked up to see Alberta with her short cut hair and a grim expression on her face.

_Oh brilliant._


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose?" Her gaze fell heavily on me. "Why is she out of her room?" she asked Yuri, without looking away from me.

"I'm not completely sure but I was just escorting her back to her dorm-"

"-You know, miracle of miracles I am capable of speaking for myself." I remarked. Which to be honest, probably wasn't the best idea.

"Very well then Miss Hathaway, Just what exactly are you doing out of bed?"

"Um…Well…You see, I…I had a bad dream and…I just needed some fresh air so-"

"So? If I'm not mistaken, windows are provided in each dorm and I'm sure that if they are opened they allow _plenty_ of fresh air in. Am I not right?" "Well yeah there are windows but-"

"No buts. I will take it from here. Rose, come with me."

"BUT-"

"-What did I say?" Bowing my head in shame I left Yuri's side and followed Alberta inside. From behind her I could make out her Molnija marks. Despite their brutal background they had an air of honor and grace about them. I couldn't count exactly how many she had as her collar covered some. I bore two Molnijas of my own.

It's funny but if you had told me a year ago that by this time I would already have two of these lightning-y tattoos (given that I would have believed you instead of most likely calling you something along the lines of _creepy-time-traveling-stalker-creep-person-thing_) I would have leapt a foot in the air and cut my hair to prepare to show them off to the world.

_Yeah, it didn't really go like that._ When I finally received my first molnijas I wasn't exactly pleased about it. Having them done seemed like admitting to myself that it had all really happened. You see I had followed mason, a friend of mine (or Boyfriend as far as he was concerned), to a spot in Spokane that the guardians believed Strigoi were hiding at. Yeah I know, Spokane, but hey, Strigoi aren't that classy. While we were there we were captured and I had to during are escape I saw them kill him. I can't remember much after that, it's all a bit of a blur but I do know the facts.

I single handedly decapitated two Strigoi with a blunt sword.

Sound impressive, well it is, but not something I'd do again in a hurry.

We came to an office, unfortunately I was no stranger to this room. I had been dragged here on many occasions. Most memorably by Dimitri when-

Yeah that's a funny story. Alberta had sat down behind a desk and was looking at me with, of all things, concern. "How have you been feeling recently?" It was so unexpected that I actually turned round to see who she was talking to. _Ant there I was thinking they only did that in movies._

"um..OK?" Her eyes bore holes into me.

"This dream you had earlier was it anything to do with the events in Spokane?" _There it is. _"As stressful as a guardian's first kill is, Rose, the after effects must be swiftly overcome."

"Yes of course, Al-Guardian Petrov, I mean I'm fine it's just…"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "I understand that the changes of Guardian Belikov leaving and the upcoming Field Experience can have some tiring effects on you too, but none of this gives you the freedom to break rules. Now see that you stay in your dorm and that this never happens again, understood?" I had no choice but to vigorously nod my head. I turned towards the door.

"Rose, I'm sorry." I could have waited to hear what else she had to say but it's not every day that I get let off this easily, so I bolted.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Hi, thanks for reading this far! :) I hope you enjoy the story now it gets going. The next chapter is a flash back to the end of Frostbite. Enjoy.**

It was just after my molnija ceremony when spoke to Dimitri I didn't even know if our practice was still on but I went to the locker room anyway. After changing into practice clothes, I headed down into the gym and found Dimitri in a supply room. He was reading another one of those western novels that he loved and _I_ loved to tease him about.

"I thought you might come by" he said, marking his place in the book.

"It's time for practice." I replied "I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go." I said after he argued that I still needed to recover. He gestured to the chair beside him.

"Sit down Rose." I admired his gorgeous brown eyes for as long as I could before he looked directly at me, then I glanced away…maybe at his lips? "No one gets over their first kill…kills…easily. Even with Strigoi…well, it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through…" He sighed and surprised me by taking my hand in his. I felt immediately warm all over. His fingers were just how I remembered, powerful and calloused with years of training. "You have no Idea how I felt, when I saw you just…"

"How did you feel?" I asked quite hesitantly.

"Devastated…you were alive and unharmed but I didn't think you would ever recover. I felt awful thinking of that happening to you so young. But at the same time I was so proud of you, Rose. Look at what you had done, and all by yourself." My breath caught in my throat. _He was proud of me._ "I know you will recover, just not now. Losing someone you care about is never easy…but I'm sure you already know that, with what happened with Lissa's family. You've had to watch her go through that."

"It was my fault, you know. Mason. getting killed."

"No Roza. You made some wrong decisions that's all, you didn't kill him." He reached out and wrapped his other arm around my shoulders.

"I might as well have done, I told him about Spokane, even when you told me not to and I let them go back in there and-"

"Shhhh, Roza." One of my tears escaped and he caught it delicately with his finger before kissing me on the forehead. "You are not to blame. You are free to regret your decisions but you must not blame yourself. Remember that Mason also made his decisions too. It was his decision in the end. No matter what your original role."

"I Just wish…I wish I ahd done something." I looked up at him and my heart fluttered. "I should go, let me know when you want to start practice again. Thanks for…talking." I turned to go when I herad him get up.

"No. We sort of need to talk about practice now."

"Oh Ok." He looked a little on edge running a hand through his hair he straightened up but avoided my eyes. "You'll have Yuri taking you for practice, as of the week after next. I'll be leaving before then." For a couple of seconds I had no idea what he was on about. _Why would he be leaving?_ _I've still got so much practice to do. _"Tasha needs to leave earlier than she thought to go to her classes."

It was like a punch in the gut.

"Well…you …have fun with Tasha" I spun around to the door "and all her almighty Tashaness" I stormed out.

I didn't get far before I felt him catch my hand. "Rose, wait. You need to hear me out."

"No it's OK, just I think it would be easier if you just-"

"-Roza, think about this. If I stay here then I would end up keeping us both from fulfilling what we want to do with our careers. You want to protect lissa and the best way to do that is without someone like me distracting you or putting her at risk. And me, I've always wanted a low profile assignment so I can relax and the job can be easy. This doesn't mean how I feel about you has changed. Just that I want what's best for us both. Can you understand that?"

There was a heavy silence.

"Yes…and I guess…you could have kids this way." He laughed lightly, without humour.

"I wasn't really thinking that far ahead to be honest but, yes I suppose that too."

"So when do you go?" I glared at the the ground as if it was all it's fault.

"Three days."

_Well, I guess that's that._

Gently he cupped my face and brought his lips down to mine.

Three days later and he was gone. The world didn't end. I didn't shrivel up and die. It would have been easier if I had.


End file.
